On Friday I bought a bike for my 5-year old son Eric. It was a big deal, and I had a whole set of different feelings about it. Any five year old might be happy about getting a new bike. But my little guy is special – and I expected that learning a new movement would take long, and might only be successful after a long process of practicing – or not be successful at all.
We had gone to the bike shop several times, and Eric seemed to have an interest in bikes… but he had not been able to ride a tricycle, as the pedaling movements were too complex for him to make. In general, his motor development has been widely delayed. Eric didn’t sit by himself before the age of 14 months, and he started walking only with almost 2 ½ years. He is what the doctors call ataxic, his movements are difficult to control, and he has had general coordination difficulties and falls a lot. His eye-hand coordination has been very limited and intermittent, and he has had a hard time focusing on anything more than a few seconds. Eric has a rare genetic condition called Mowat-Wilson syndrome.
Doctors told us he would never live alone, and he would never speak. And we’ve assimilated that “reality”.
With a child with a disability like this you quickly learn not to expect anything. In fact, I know both he and I will be perfectly fine if he doesn’t learn the things other kids do learn – and biking was one of these things. But he kept pulling me towards this bike shop, so I just wanted to follow the flow of life, and use the small window of opportunity his excitement represented to me – for whatever learning might be possible.
Eric was a little tired as we waited for the shop assistant to make the last adjustments to the bike. He was impatient, didn’t want to wait – and as we finally left the shop, his communication was very clear: He kicked the bike and refused to even sit on it.
I though, “well, this starts well”, and I prepared myself for having made a totally useless purchase.
The next day, I proposed to try the new bike, and I was surprised to see Eric’s excitement. I could see that he felt insecure, as he kept making little pedaling movements, but never went into a circular movement – instead he went back and forth, and we were excited to find the bike moving forward.
I showed him the circular movement, but he kept saying “me, me” – and I understood that he wanted to do this alone. In the course of just 30 minutes, I watched him do the complete pedaling movement twice – a cause for surprise, and almost, disbelief on my part.
But I can still not believe what happened the next day: Eric rode the bike, all by himself, for meters and seconds at a time – and he was actually doing the circular movements!
I had to ad video to this post, because at least I have to see it to believe it.
You can hear him scream “papa”, indicating to me that I should make a video for his dad to see his achievement! Eric was sooo excited and proud about his ability to go on a bike, he kept yelling at passers-by to call their attention to him, riding his bike.
Ever since I did the Reconnective Healing Catalyst Program, Eric and I have been experiencing these healing frequencies – on a daily basis. I don’t only facilitate sessions to clients, but I have gotten used to experiencing the frequencies with Eric as a part of our nightly bed routine. We’ve maybe been doing this for a month, and it just seemed like a nice relaxed way to end the day together.
Everybody notices how good he is doing. His anger attacks have almost subsided. He is willing to learn new things, when before he used to draw back into himself. He cannot stop “talking”, communicating in his way, and playing with his voice. Watching him ride the bike is just incredible for me, and seeing how he could learn to pedal and steer so quickly (ok, breaking is still to come!), is just miraculous.
Our time together used to be extremely exhausting as it was like watching a toddler all the time, but one that weighs almost 20 kilos and refuses to collaborate continuously. I ended up exhausted. Now, we are a team. It is actually fun to experience life together, and he doesn’t cease to surprise me. When he goes to bed, I still have energy for myself. And I get to feel like more than “just a mother” again.
Why do I think this has to do with Reconnective Healing? Because I still remember the struggle we used to be in about medical support, education and therapies for Eric. I remember how hard it was to figure out what was going on, and how I used to live in a constant struggle with life, my son, fate, and the medical system. And it all changed when I discovered Reconnective Healing.
Now, I experience the frequencies, and I feel the changes in myself. The deeper I allow myself to go, the more I allow myself to receive – the more change just comes. Now I notice how the frequencies open us up to being in a flow, enjoying, and making the best of every moment. They bring surprises and new possibilities. We are being changed, and life is changing, in the most surprising, easy and positive way.
And now when I look at my son, I wonder: What else will be possible?