OR HOW TO OVERCOME THE BIGGEST HURDLE TO SELF-CARE
Exercising more, eating healthier, sleeping more, or taking better care of our body – those are just a few possible actions of self-care that easily let us connect with a bad conscience. We know we should do it, but we procrastinate or never quite get to it. Buying something for myself that I desire, or giving myself free time and taking some restful moments isn’t easy either. But if it is “taking care of myself”, shouldn’t it feel good? How is it that it is so difficult to realize?
The biggest hurdle to self-care is not feeling worthy or deserving.
We can notice that we have this hurdle because we don’t take care of certain aspects of life that are important to our well-being. Sometimes we don’t take care of our bodies, and we easily forget to have fun and take care of creating moments of joy. Instead, we function, we carry our responsibilities, we take care of others.
We can often recognize that we don’t feel deserving of self-care, because we hesitate to give ourselves time, to give ourselves attention, to even ask what we would want, or what we need. We can have emotions of guilt, blame, a bad conscience, or shame around not being good enough or having to make a bigger effort. When we have these emotions, it doesn’t matter how much we know about self-care, or how clearly we see that we should be more attentive towards our bodies our souls and our lives.
I don’t feel worthy – and now?
I have found that once we see this block, we can ask the question “what would I do if I loved myself?” What would I do if I felt deserving of all the best things in life? If we don’t have any other ways of transcending the negative emotions telling us that we are not deserving, we can choose to take care of ourselves despite the fact that it doesn’t quite feel good – yet.
Many people are so used to not feeling deserving, that they cannot even imagine how it feels to love themselves and what it means to be taking care of oneself. So I find that it’s important to have a point of reference. This point of reference can be moments in which we did something for ourself and in which we just enjoyed life. Often times we see children approaching life with that attitude. When did you last enjoy life like a child? What actions or what situations or which people allow you to feel that way now?
With Reconnective Healing®, we can also get such a point of reference. Is often happens to me when I facilitate a session, that everything that’s heavy or difficult disappears, the mind goes silent, I am one with my client, one with the universe, one with the experience, and one with “God”. There is only love and silence, joy and peace – and in those moments there is no question about deservingness or worthiness. There is no difference between me and the loving infinite universe of possibilities. It’s my goal to experience this lovingness and wholeness in more and more areas of my life, and to grow into an awareness in my daily every-day life, that gets closer and closer to this moment of revelation. My wish is for other people to experience this perfection, and so I gave a lot of time and attention to playing with the frequencies in many different situations. For me, the Reconnective Healing® experience in all its facets is a bridge to our source and to the experience of infinite unconditional worthiness. But when our awareness lies on the more finite and human aspects of our existence, sometimes we can remember this truth of worthiness without being able to access and experience it. In those moments I ask myself: “How would I feel and what would I do now if I felt my infinite love, lovingness, worthiness, peace and joy?”
A list of actions of self-love and self-care
It’s a beautiful exercise to make a list of all the big and small things that for us personally represent an act of self-care. For me they are the actions that raise my energy, that feel good to me, and that charge my batteries. Many of these items on the list have to do with giving myself in my finite existence attention, time and resources. When I love someone, I give this person exactly this, attention, time and resources. So when I love myself, I do the same. In a sense, actions of self-care anticipate this inner attitude and wholeness and they constitute a bridge towards experiencing our worthiness.
I want to share with you a few items on my list of self-care that have become very important and points of recharging, loving myself an remembering the truth of my existence in my daily life:
- resting 15 minutes after lunch, eyes closed, just receiving and observing
- enjoying the Reconnective Healing Experience in any situation or duration
- going for a walk
- creative time – painting and decorating
- enjoying nature, sitting under a tree or connecting with animals, plants or other aspects of nature
- connecting with a friend or group of friends
- swimming, taking a bath (definitely with candles and music) or shower
- make myself a gift
- buy myself flowers
- stretching / back massage
- sleeping early
- going on a trip.
- ask for help and support.
- listen to my happy-playlist.
And now it’s your turn: Make your list, and be sure it includes at least 30 actions of different sizes. That way you can do 1-3 actions every day, and on the bad days, there are some actions you can still get to.
Stepping into self-care
Feeling worthy, loving ourselves and taking actions of self-care – it’s a circle. It’s a cycle. And we can end being in this his cycle in all its different points.
We can remember that we are worthy, deserving and enough.
We can let go if all emotions, thought and patters that tell us otherwise.
We can bypass the mind and become one with our infinite existence. (Reconnective Healing Experience). It gives us a reference point for our own worthiness.
Or we can take the exact action that would naturally occur in the awareness of our own value and love, thus creating a bridge into expanded awareness, raising our energy and changing our experience.
A final blessing
So, just because this topic is so beautiful and opens so many doors to more beautiful experiences, let me share my absolute inner knowing: You are enough. You are deserving, and you are worthy of all the best life has to offer. May you explore, play with and enjoy the actions of self-care, and experience your worth and beauty – every day a little more!