Create More Loving Relationships by Improving of Your Self-Esteem
Our relationships mirror our own relationship with ourselves. When a relationship becomes complicated, you experience a conflict or a problem because of a negative or dependent self-image or low self-esteem. If you want to feel loved, you have to start by loving yourself, and raising your self-esteem.
Self-esteem is the value we give to ourselves. It consists of a sum of images, thoughts and feelings about our worth. As you know from your experience, low self-esteem can cause many consecutive issues: in general it leads us to accept situations and conditions in life that are not at all what we consider good, but we think we don’t deserve or won’t achieve anything better. Low self-esteem is reflected in our emotions, relationships, the commitments we accept, our success at work or in other projects we undertake. Moreover, when we feel bad about ourselves is when we have most problems with others. Just when we need and depend on them is often when they least give us their support or closeness.
The key to all the really good things in life is self-love. Creating a life of meaning, abundance and success, balance, love, self-actualization and flow is possible when you trust yourself and take care of yourself, and you relate in a healthy way to yourself, and to other people.
Interestingly, we don’t necessarily have low self-esteem in all areas of life. You can believe in yourself professionally, but then see yourself as unworthy in relationships, or even believe in yourself professionally in general, but not when you think of the next challenge that you are facing.
In any case, if you’re sick of your problems, of not trusting and sabotaging yourself and being your own worst critic – if you want to improve your self-esteem in order to start winning and feeling good, you face several challenges:
- Feel yourself, know what you want. People with low self-esteem or who are dependent on others know perfectly well what others think and need. But they don’t deal with their own feelings or needs. In order to relate with others in a positive way, without defending or attacking, an important step is to feel and understand your own needs and limits. You have to find a position of your own which is safe and clear to you and to others.
- Change your thoughts. For developing self-esteem, you have to accept the fact of being human. You have to change the beliefs and thoughts that demand you to be perfect, or that depreciate, despise, and discourage you. You have to become conscious of the forms your mind uses for you to maintain a low self-esteem (such as self-accusations, negative generalizations, black-and-white thoughts, always feeling guilty, etc.).
- Face and transform the emotional roots of low self-esteem. It is important for you to release and transform the emotional roots that make you evaluate yourself so negatively. Subconsciously, we always retain past negative experiences, parts of ourselves that reinforce old habits and negative perceptions. Give them a solution that will not force you to act against what you feel, and you’ll feel better about yourself long-term.
Taking these steps cannot fail to improve your low self-esteem, and to resolve dependence and other relationship issues. It will help you to transform them and feel good with yourself and the people around you. When you progress in that way, you become able to give and receive more love and bring that kind of positivity into all areas of your life. Then, your efforts to create and maintain a positive relationship can bear fruit, and you will stop sabotaging the good things you have and that life has in store for you.