The holidays are getting closer, and it’s clear what they “should be”: A period of rest and introspection, love, family, gifts and happiness.

Unfortunately, the more we want this, the more we are prone to suffering.

The preparation parts us from calmness, the relationship with our partner ( or the lack of it) brings problems,  the income isn’t sufficient for buying the gifts the kids are so desiring, the children are not getting along with the new partner, and the family time ends up being a walk on eggs trying to avoid certain conflicts.

And then, after all that stress and preparation, we may get sick – there are millions of things that can disrupt the image of peaceful and loving Christmas celebrations many of us have.

Experience shows us that the more we want something, the more difficult it may get to reach it.

I am not saying that Murphy’s law is right, and that everything that may go wrong, will. I just mean that sometimes when we insist on having something a certain way, we close ourselves to getting it another way, or to getting something else. Then we end up tired and disappointed… and on top of it, we blame ourselves (or the others) – the perfect way of not experiencing neither peace not love.

So, ¿what can we do in order to experience relaxing holidays?

  1. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Even that which we call perfect, when looked at from a different perspective, has disadvantages, and many times we even are mistaken about what we really want.
  2. What you have not resolved all year, you won’t solve now.
  3. We humans are as we are – imperfect. We al want to feel loved, accepted and respected. If you do something in order for your loved ones to feel like that (even if they are as imperfect as they are), they will return it to you.
  4. Less is more. Better choose and enjoy than try to do it all, but then don’t do anything for real.
  5. Positive perspective: Instead of looking at what doesn’t work, look at what you have and what is great! If that is difficult for you, make a list of the advantages or the situation, the otehr person, or even about yourself. You’ll see how your body and mind will start to feel better!
  6. Calmness and rest come through acceptance. Just for a moment, allow yourself not to have to change anything or anyone. The Spanish say “it is what it is”, and this phrase may sometimes be fatalistic, but it is also wise. If you just stop fighting for a moment whatever it is you’re experiencing, you may be able to observe how your perspective shifts.
  7. The one thing we can always influence is the way of treating ourselves. If life doesn’t treat you how you would want to, then you do it!  Before you can give anything to another person – and even if it’s “only” time or attention – you have to be ok.

Surely, there are many more tricks and approaches you are already using in order to experience the most positive holidays possible. I am grateful for your comments and ideas, and for sharing them here with us!

Anyway, I am wishing you happy holidays, with lots of patience, compassion and calmness!